First Time Anal Sex for Beginners
Anal Sex, Anal Play, and Analingus for an Erotic Sexual Experience
For obvious reasons, not everyone is comfortable with anal sex for the first time and all that it entails. The thought of having their lovers lick and kiss their anus, or doing it to their lovers, is a pretty big deal and not something people take lightly. Still, many lovers find that they are curious about anal play and discover it quite accidentally during other forms of sex. The result is that some are surprised to find that they actually like it.
Anal sex can best be described as the act of inserting an erect penis into a rectum. The rectum is quite a bit tighter than the average vagina and so provides an incredible stimulant to the penis. Similarly, the anus and surrounding tissue are full of nerves that are extremely sensitive. This makes anal play feel extremely erotic for many couples.
In addition, anal sex relies heavily on stimulating the pelvic floor muscles which lie below the surface of the anal area. These muscles play an important role during sex and are the ones that contract during an orgasm. By stimulating the pelvic floor muscles, you can heighten your sensation and find it very pleasurable indeed.
Don’t fear Anal Pain, just get Lube!
Many couples fear anal sex because of the pain associated with the sexual experience. Yes, it is true that anal sex can sometimes be painful. However, if you have a partner that is gentle and slow, you can get past the momentary discomfort and experience some of the best sex you've ever had.
When its your first time trying to anal sex or if you are still fairly new to the experience, you want to make sure that you use plenty of lubrication - in fact, too much lube is almost enough; the more the better in this case.
Open up Communications about Anal Sex
If this is something that you are interested in trying, then be open with your partner about it. Depending on your relationship, you may be able to discuss these kinds of sexual acts in a completely nonsexual way, or you may prefer to do so while in the act of making love. In any event, always be sure that you have discussed and agreed upon anal play before attempting to perform it. Unprepared or forced anal sex is painful to most people and first impressions are lasting. So, if this is something you really want to pursue, discuss it with your partner and be sure they are equally as interested as you are.
Before we delve deeper into the vast land of anal sex, let’s take a moment to talk about what might be the most common type of anal action known to man (or woman).
Analingus: Oral Pleasure for your Anus
Analingus (Anal Oral Sex) will stimulate the sensitive areas around the anus, helping to somewhat lubricate and arouse the surrounding area.
Did you know?
Analingus is oral-anal sex. This involves your partner's mouth on your anus - using their tongue and lips to stimulate the sensitive area. Colloquially is it known as 'rimming', and if you prefer to use food products it can also be known as 'tossing the salad.’ It is recommended that couples start with analingus before moving into anal sex as it is best to start slow and small, then work your way up to bigger. What this means is that sticking an erect penis into the rectum without preparing it could cause unwanted anal pain on the recipient’s part. However, if you start with your tongue and fingers first, and then move into the larger things the receiver will be more open to enjoying the sensations and better able to relax. This will result in less anal pain for the receiver, which will ultimately make the experience more enjoyable for both partners.
Best Positions for Performing Analingus
There are certain positions that work best for anal sex and analingus. These positions do not require too much dexterity and allow the giver complete access to their partner's anus. As I've mentioned, this type of sexual activity can make people a little nervous and unless your partner is relaxed, they may not enjoy the fun. So, be sure to take your time and be very patient with them.
Now without further ado, here are some of the best ways to stimulate this often ignored area:
- Analingus Position: Doggie Style
- Analingus Position: Standing Bent Over
- Analingus Position: On Back with Knees Pulled into Chest
- Analingus Position: Sixty-nine
- Analingus Position: Sit on Their Face (Analingus)
- Analingus Position: On the Side (Anal Sex)
Everyone is pretty familiar with this position. Find a soft surface to rest on, such as a bed or a blanket on the floor. Assume the position while your partner squats down behind you.
The person on the receiving end stands and bends over at the waist, while the giver squats down behind them. Either the giver or the receiver can gently spread the receiver's cheeks to allow for maximum access.
This is a fairly common position with cunnilingus, so it should be simple enough to follow with analingus. The receiver lies on their back with their knees pulled into their chest while the giver lies on their stomach in front of them. It often helps to have a pillow tucked under the receiver's hips for comfort and to allow easier access to the anus.
Again, another familiar position with other forms of oral play. This does require a little more physical flexibility than the other positions, though. Still, many people enjoy this position; often more than any of the others.
This position requires the giver to lie on their backs and the receiver to 'sit' on their partner's face. You do want to be careful that you are not suffocating your partner in this position, so it helps to lean forward slightly.
Each partner can lie on their sides, and the man can enter the anus - this is like the lazy doggie style, except with the anus.
You can find any position that suits you. Almost any standard intercourse position can work for anal sex, and many will work for analingus. Find the ones that work best and please you and your partner the most!
Now that we've talked about positions, let's talk about tips for both anal sex and analingus.
Tips for First Time Anal Sex
Serious safety issues should always be taken into account when performing any anal play. Whatever touches the anus should not come into contact with anything else. NEVER take the penis out of the anus and stick it into the vagina. That is a sure fire way to give her an infection and she isn't going to thank you. After any kind of anal play, you should change condoms and wash relevant body parts thoroughly. Also keep in mind that STD's can still be transmitted through anal play. Always be open with your partner about any sexually transmitted diseases you have, and always use a condom.
Lubrication Is Your friend
It is important to remember that unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. You need to have your own lube handy, and you need plenty of it. The more you have, the better because it will make the initial penetration much easier and less painful for the woman. Many condom brands have introduced lubricating condoms, which is a great start, but not nearly enough on its own; at least not for anal play. You need to keep some lube handy.
They also have lubricants that have a numbing agent in them that people use to get through the initial pain of anal sex. While I see the benefit to them, I recommend not using them and so do many experts on the subject. Pain is the body's natural way of letting us know when something is wrong. If there is a persistent pain past the initial few movements, then something else could be wrong and you want to know before you cause any damage. Be very careful using any such numbing lubricants.
Analingus is Anal Foreplay
As I've mentioned before, not many people are all for you just plunging your erect penis into their rear end. It's not exactly a pleasant experience. This is where analingus becomes so important. It is an erotic way to get your partner in the mood and ready for anal sex. Use light licks and kisses, then work your way up to a finger or two. After you're sure your partner can handle more, move on to bigger objects such as butt plugs or small dildo's. Once your partner is fully accustomed to foreign objects in their rear end, you can move on to anal sex. Taking this time to make sure your partner is comfortable will ensure that you get to do this again.
Clear the Way
One of the other biggest concerns with anal play is coming across feces. While it is possible, most of the body's fecal matter is stored above the anus in the colon, so anything your run across is only trace amounts; and those are easily washed away with good hygiene. It is recommended that there has been a good, complete bowel movement and the anus has been thoroughly washed before anal play. Many people choose to use to go the enema route; purchasing one from the local drugstore. Others claim that this only adds to the irritation of penetration. Whatever you decide, just be sure to give yourself several hours and wash yourself well.
Tips for Analingus
These are some tips that you should keep in mind when it comes to analingus. Like cunnilingus, this is an art, so put your art hat on and get ready to learn!
Take It Slow
This really can't be stressed enough. Some people may prefer to be plunged into and that's fine; however, unless they specifically request it, you should approach this area slowly and tenderly.
Use Your Lips
Kiss your lover's anus and the areas around it. When it comes to analingus much like cunnilingus, you should never just dive for the gold.
Use the Flat of Your Tongue
Press it against your partner's anus and gently lap at it. This will make your persuasion job much easier.
Use the Tip of the Tongue
Wiggle it around the anus, slip it inside and move in and out, or wiggle it around in circles. Experiment with different pressures and speeds to really get your partner going. You can also try sampling with foods like whipped cream, jelly, honey, etc.
Anal sex and analingus are no longer the taboo sexual adventures they used to be. While there will probably never be as popular as other forms of oral play, the two are making a strong statement with couples nonetheless.
Just be sure that you discuss the topic if either of you are curious. Be open to one another and it will bring you closer intimately. Exploring each other's bodies in such a way means giving yourself completely and being loved for all of you; and that's a huge turn on for most people. So enjoy each other!